Another Chance

I was driving home late at night when suddenly a question pop into my mind: “What am I doing?” The silence that follows afterward is deafening, resonating what my father once said to me,

I did not flicker. That simple line resulted in misunderstanding between us. I was and am laser-focused on one thing, never two at a time. The series of exploration in the public health world—where my formal study as a physician did not provide the core capacity of a public health officer—resulted in a timeline of unusual experiences.

In 2007, David Brooks coined the term “Odyssey Years”, a period (a decade, to be precise) between adolescence and adulthood where we are allowed to explore. I did exactly that, except the society thinks I am not allowed to explore. I was expected to contribute according to the society’s way of thinking, way of living, and way of walking down the path of a medical doctor in Indonesia.

The competition is higher than ever, people are trying to get the upperhand by being “specialist-minded” as early as possible. If you can decide right from your first year of medical school, of what do you want to be in the next 5-10 years, that’s great for you. They believe you are one step ahead of your colleagues.

I don’t buy that narrative. The glorification around this view resulting in narrow, microscopic view of medicine. Maybe you are truly passionate, maybe you are not.

It has come to my understanding that possessing a helicopter view, especially through working for the WHO, makes me appreciate the medical field more than ever. The Blunt End of a global health policy, national action plans, and programme finally have its window on the other Sharp End: a patient.

This invaluable insight, then, made my mind find its rest on my father’s saying, that I need to focus. I’m ready to give medicine another chance.